Monthly Archives: September 2016

Colon Kaperwienie The Social Justice Bobble Head Doll

So the Kaperwienie stupidity virus has begun spreading. Or perhaps it just a group of fellow athletes not wanting one of their own looking so vile by himself. In any case, Broncos linebacker Brandon Marshall Seattle Reign midfielder and bitter homersexual Megan Rapinoe and Seattle Seahawks defensive back Jeremy Lane have jumped on the “I want everyone to know just how devoted to lies I am” bandwagon. In view of their “concern” over the treatment of people of color in America I have decided to help them. Perhaps these juvenile social justice pimps can send these out as reminders to all their oppressors.

The Colon Kaperwienie Social Justice Bobble Head Doll

Show your support for oppressed people everywhere with the amazing Colon Kaperwienie Social Justice Bobble Head doll.

Each rare collectors doll (production limited to 500,000) comes complete with all this;

An oppression busting social justice helmet that doubles as an ashtray!

A massive steel wool afro that doubles as a convenient mini pot scrubber!

A custom made, hand signed pink toilet paper jersey! (Washing not recommended)

A pair of white, organic cotton socks adorned with pigs wearing police hats. (All pigs are white except for one token black and one token hispanic. Token Native American pigs available for an additional fee.)

And a genuine moslem wire brush beard perfect for itching those hard to reach places!

(Beard and socks are removable for those rare times normal people actually visit you)

And that’s not all!

Reach down between his platinum plated cheeks and pull the brass ring to hear such treasured social justice phrases as:

“I’m half black and you’re a racist!”

“Support oppressed people everywhere, Viva Castro!”

“I’m famous, you’re not!”

“My tattoos prove I’m an oppressed black man!”

“My millions of dollars are none of your business!”

And every true social justice warriors favorite;

“Black bowel movements matter!”

Isn’t this an amazing offer? Well, we’re not done yet!

Act now and we will throw in a free moslem girlfriend Bobble Head doll, complete with see through burkini, with each order! (Additional moslem girlfriend Bobble Head dolls available separately for $9.99 each plus shipping and handling)

But wait, there’s more!

Guilty white liberals can purchase this priceless piece of posterior history for only $39.99 plus a 50% guilt tax and $9.99 shipping and handling.

Black bowel movement matter members (must show proof of recent arrest by a white police officer) can purchase this oppression busting monument to social justice for $29.99 with free shipping and handling.

That’s a great deal!

But wait, there’s more!

The first five million callers will get a genuine pink social justice tutu that perfectly fits your Colon Kaperwienie Social Justice Bobble Head doll. Don’t wait any longer!

Call 1-800-RACE-BAITER and order a Colon Kaperwienie Social Justice Bobble Head doll (and moslem girlfriend doll) for you and all of your socially conscious friends!

They make great holiday gifts!

Operators, Jackson and Sharpton, are anxiously waiting (send cash only, they will happily make change) to take your order!

Call now!

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Semi-Colin Kaperwienie

So now I hear the derriere dude is teaching children to disrespect the national anthem.

Okay folks, fair warning. My filter is totally off right now. As a veteran who comes from a long line of veterans and a brother in-law who was a police officer, I have tried to remain calm through twin cheeks “protest” but dragging children into his temper tantrum is one step to far. Now I vent.

The man/child Kaperwienie deciding to disrespect the national anthem because he chooses to believe in a series of lies is plain and simply sick. And yes, he has chosen to believe in the lies of black bowel movements matter. The truth of black people being “oppressed” is out there and the uncomfortable fact for the pampered princess is that the greatest danger to a black man today is another black man. It’s not the police, it’s not a white person and it’s not a pig wearing a police hat, it’s one of his precious people of color. He will ignore that because right now he is the medias new anti-American darling. The inked up menace to reason is once again enjoying a level of affection he can no longer garner on the field. Attention he no doubt thinks he deserves because of his new found social consciousness.

Well guess what princess prime time, free speech works both ways. While you have the right to protest, even for the most vile of organizations, you do not have the right to be immune from the consequences of your actions. By choosing to ally yourself with a group whose only function is hate you have earned every foul name that can be directed your way. You should be grateful you didn’t play football with my coach. He would have tossed you from the team for being to self centered to be of any use.

Semi-Colin, this poor abused “black” person, I can’t call him a man because no man demonstrates his superiority through stupidity, wants to prove how socially aware he his by sitting on his platinum plated ass. Give me a break. How about dragging your gold plated ego into an inner city somewhere and teaching young black men that gangsta rap and drugs are not a viable lifestyle. Why don’t you put that superior morality of yours to use by teaching those same young black men the value of hard work, honesty, education and keeping their pants on until they get married? Why don’t you park that precious posterior of yours in the inner city long enough to tell young black women that to avoid poverty for the rest of their lives they need to stop being baby factories for gangsta rap losers? (Could it be the posterior princess won’t do these things because there are no white people in the “hood” to blame, hmm…) But no, princess puffy hair has to make this all about him. The professional paperweight is standing up for all those poor people of color by dramatizing his simple mindedness. Why else would he wear the shirt of a true oppressor? Why if it wasn’t for his posterior heroics just think how horrible life would be now for all those people of color. Just think, it took a half black legend in his own mind to show us all we had to do to improve the lot of people of color was get some overpaid blowhard to plop his cheeks at the appropriate time. Who knew?

Now, having saved people of color from the evil white police, I hope the intellectual featherweight doesn’t trip over his pink social justice tutu on the way to the game.

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